Not Me! Monday Returns

I know that you are all yearning for another Not Me! Monday. So to appease you -- and to amuse myself -- here it is. Or isn't. I'm not telling.

It wasn't me who let Matthew climb into bed for the night with a McDonald's bag in his hands. Even if I did (on a whim because it was that kind of day) the bag wouldn't have been full of warm, salty FRIES. Not this strict and highly nutritious mother. And I also wasn't the one who set his CHOCOLATE SHAKE on his nightstand that very same night. Nor was it me who had a delightful time reading Dr. Suess's ABC Book in the semi-darkness while Matthew scarfed and slurped his late night "dinner" at 8:30 p.m. I would never. I also wouldn't have been (super) proud when he "read" (between all the scarfing and slurping) almost the whole book to me almost word-for-word. And if we did ever have such an unorthodox nighttime event, I (at least) was not thinking: Now this is life! These are the moments. Nope, not me.

And just to put your minds at ease, I know you'll feel better to know that Matthew did not fall asleep with his shake under his arm, a straw in his hand and an empty fry bag on his nightstand. Not my boy. And I didn't think it was the cutest sight in the world.

And speaking of my boy, he was also NOT the kid who made a mad dash down the center aisle at church during worship time this weekend. Like he was really feeling the spirit. Or being chased by a terrible meat-eating dinosaur. Or like all the little kids do after the service. I was not the mom standing there completely shocked and half-helpless with a baby in my arms as people laughed and pointed as Matthew high-tailed it right in front of the stage and then sprinted back up the side aisle. I was not the least bit embarassed and mortified. And he definitely didn't DO IT AGAIN! before I could catch him. He was not giggling the whole time, thinking it was all quite fun. Part of me did not want to laugh as I watched the debacle unfold. I never have the urge to laugh when I'm uncomfortable. Nope, not me. I didn't scold my young offender, tell him that he was to sit next to me and not to that again, only to have him reply, "But whyyyyyyyyyyyy?" in true pre-schooler fashion.

It wasn't me thinking that, try as we might, this whole bring-the-kids-in-for-family-worship thing just isn't working for this family.

This blog carnival was originally created by MckMama. Feel free to hop over to her site to read about what she, and lots of other moms, have not been up to lately. Even better, write one of your own. In case you were wondering, it wasn't my mom who finally gave in and wrote one of her own last week. And this definitely isn't the link to her post. I would never to that to her. Nope, not me.